The End of the Beginnings

A week of struggles and fights, clinging on to my belief so hard that this too, will pass. And it did. :) although there's still a short way ahead, I have strong faith that my Almighty Goddess will get me through it. Just like the way She helped me through so many traumatic events and studies.

Competing against time is tiring, seriously oh my goodness. The way "Need you now", a song that was so dear to me became scary and annoying. Gah. Too much of focus used in the preparations for the 1st three days totally drained my energy and zest to keep competing against time, seriously. I do not know how I got through it, and I actually ended up with lotsa blur cases in the last 3 days of exams. Rather amusing when I think back now, idling in my room, but I just couldn't express my anxiety and intense horror during that.

‎"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me, and when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain." totally love this quote by L Lawliet.


One after another problems solved, the last solved in excruciating pain. AHHHHHHHHHH. but another seemingly + supposedly insignificant something somehow striked me. Though convinced that it's something too impossible to even ponder upon from the start, now that it's officially gone, it's kinda hard to swallow. Just like glancing at a $40 million limited edition Prada everytime you walk pass it, you know this is a wild fantasy. The thought subsides as you go to other places, but it strikes back when you come back to the same place, seeing it again. And one day, it's no longer in display. Someone better has bought it and wore it. And she looks magnificently gorgeous in that. A sigh of joy at how the Prada and the owner complement each other. Just gonna get through it.

And so, this is the end of the something that I thought was just beginning. Just like the semester, and many others. And I have the very strong feeling, and wish, that the number of students in Medicine Faculty UKM 2009/2014 will remain as 199 from now on. I'll pray for that. I'd hate to lose anyone along the pursuit of our common dream, which is gradually realising. :)


4 in the morning,
in the most tranquil state of mind.