It has been 3 months since Year 4 started. I've been so preoccupied with other things that I didn't even have the liberty to sit down quietly and reflect what is going on. And now that the second posting is coming to its end, I reckon it's time to spend some time for this.
The hangover from year end holidays was intense this time. The older I grow, the more intense these hangovers become. As the clock starts ticking, 21st birthday is approaching. Adulthood is just around the corner. The unmerciful evolution of time constantly reminds me of the new responsibilities I shall bear with physical aging. I became so afraid to go to bed during holidays, thinking that days at home would just slip away day by day. I frantically tried to freeze time, but I couldn't.
And then the holidays ended. This time it ended with a rare outing with my parents on Mother's Day. At least some kind of memories before I return to my academic term, pretending that I'm not homesick; pretending that the friends I love so much in home town do not exist.
Thankfully, PSY posting had been a bliss. Apart from the super flexible schedule, I actually loved the posting itself. I just love talking I guess. No one in the ward planned for this to happen. It was the stress that they thought they couldn't resolve. They needed ears to listen to their stories. So imaginary voices and visions started kicking in as part of relief of the stress. To share their stories. But the longer they're trapped in the world, the more they are detached from reality. They cannot engage with the reality anymore. No. That wasn't the solution. You can allow yourself to be crazy and wild sometimes, give your heart a break, but in the end you must remember to stay headstrong and solve whatever problems you have in life. No one is born free in this world - everyone is bound to certain obligations in life to some extent. No man is an island, and everyone's bound to someone else. Just when you're on the verge of breaking down, think of your family members. For the good or bad things you do, they will be there to face the consequences with you, so be responsible with any decisions you make.
PSY posting came and left. Thankfully ENT posting has been interesting with real nice doctors, too. I'll miss the funny doctor who out of the blue made a very random funky smile at you, funky doctor as mad as mad hatter but smart like a genius, brotherly doctor who offered to help you with logbook and forbid you from calling him "doctor", doctor who acted indifferent but actually cared about his students (errr he probably did, let's assume he did). Not to forget the very friendly patients! Some of them had to wear tracheostomy tube and had phonation problems. But they still talked very patiently although they've been clerked by many students beforehand. May God bless them. The posting is a real short one, 3 weeks and it's coming to an end soon. I'm going to miss this posting, just like how I've missed PSY Department. I'll only go through these postings once and I'm glad they have brought good memories.
Lately I have been pondering on a few things too. The idea of friendship. In life we need many friends. A friend introduces new horizons into your life; tolerates your imperfection and respects them as part of you; reflects your weaknesses like a mirror and then teaches you patiently like a teacher; takes care of you and nags at your like a mother; guides you when you're a lost sheep; playfully fights with you like siblings but fights the one who bullied you like a real Spartan; builds your confidence like a guru. All these may not be the same person. It's okay anyway.
But it all boils down to a common point: friends must be empowering, and the effort should be mutual for it to be sustainable. To find one like this is hard, so why don't start being one? Plant a seed of passion, nurture it with patience, and time will bear the fruit of friendship. :)
01:26am
Good morning world. Goodnight, the very lost Yit. @@
Monday, July 30, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
Gush of Gratitude
Of thunderous applause, whistles, fireworks, ushers and red carpet..
Say Hi! and Welcome! to my new virtual pet, Pete the Penguin! *grins.
He's now standing in the right column, excited to meet you fine people! He has infinite curiosity so his head follows your cursor all the time. As clumsy as Fergie's song, click on him more than 5 times and he'll fall into the water. Ha ha!
Hmm apart from kidnapping a penguin and exhibit it here I don't know how else to make my blog prettier. Now I'm jealous of those creative and "celik-IT" bloggers. While I'm still looking for a blogger guru or a hot IT boyfriend I wouldn't mind.. Let's just say I like to keep things simple.
Few things I wanna say in this entry:
1. I miss my primary school friend, the only person I could discuss literature with. But now that 10 years have passed, we're now in different country settings, blah blah blah, circumstances have shaped us into 2 different persons although we used to be on the same starting point. I hope this friendship is mutually treasured though.
2. I miss my high school friends. I treasure the laughter we used to share, the effort in making/choosing the presents for me, not forgetting the hugs we shared and the tears we shed on the day of graduation. Good friends (although best friends change with time, sad but true story) are meant to be remembered forever. I may not actively contact you frequently but when I'm alone reflecting things, I do think of you.
3. I love my course mates. Although walls start to build as years go by - for reasons as simple as time to reasons as complicated as organisational work and dissatisfaction - when I read back the birthday regards they wrote for my 19th in my 2nd year, I'm very much amused and appreciate your kind words at that point.
Among the most popular remarks about me in the birthday regards include me being outspoken, cheerful and an active debater. Yea I was once a busy but nonetheless happy person because I had so much jokes leftover in my brain to laugh at - mind you I'm one with abundant laugh receptors so I can still laugh so hard at a particular joke days after the last training. I hope I won't lose my humorous touch even after being apart from these cool and funny bunch of debaters. So here goes point #4.
4. I miss the times being so active in debate, never missing out any important occasions and get-together. This past year I've been missing out tournaments, training and even simple parties for reasons ranging from being in Tg Karang, stuck in busy posting, on holidays, etc. Pffffft. Reflecting back, now I'm glad at least I gave my support for training in Year 1 and helped out training juniors in Year 2, when life was young and gay and I could still have fun. :/ At least. I'm guilty for being such coward and so-not-persistent, but I've been away for way too long I now feel awkward for existing in tournament (good example being Avicenna Debate but luckily the juniors are good enough not to make me feel it) and even training in future. Despite all that complicated emotions, of course if the timing is right I'd absolutely and shamelessly chip in and say, "Whaddup people!" :P
5. I miss the AMSA moments, too. I used to drop the idea of joining AMSA in early 1st year because I thought it sounded too cool that I might not be on par with the members. (contradiction because I joined debate? But I thought of debate as a channel of personal development while AMSA is a group work, so big chance of me destroying the team if I'm a hopeless dumbo) Anyhow I still impudently crashed into the team in 2nd year (yea that's so like me), not knowing this is yet another platform where I improved so much and had fun organising events. On top of all, I'm glad I grabbed the one chance to present a paper in an international setting. Since it is one realistic and cruel organisation that you can't stay for forever, it's the junior's empire now and I hope they cherish the days.
6. I'm starting to miss my home so, so much despite the fact I'm at home. And I'm loving that moments of serenity now that my parents are over the whatever-issue-which-bothered-them-for-many-years-but-refused-to-apologise-to-each-other. I think this time the serenity will be for long, so I've grown to love the house, home and family even, even more. *hearts.
With so many things to miss about in my life..
I feel blessed. =)
Say Hi! and Welcome! to my new virtual pet, Pete the Penguin! *grins.
He's now standing in the right column, excited to meet you fine people! He has infinite curiosity so his head follows your cursor all the time. As clumsy as Fergie's song, click on him more than 5 times and he'll fall into the water. Ha ha!
Hmm apart from kidnapping a penguin and exhibit it here I don't know how else to make my blog prettier. Now I'm jealous of those creative and "celik-IT" bloggers. While I'm still looking for a blogger guru or a hot IT boyfriend I wouldn't mind.. Let's just say I like to keep things simple.
Few things I wanna say in this entry:
1. I miss my primary school friend, the only person I could discuss literature with. But now that 10 years have passed, we're now in different country settings, blah blah blah, circumstances have shaped us into 2 different persons although we used to be on the same starting point. I hope this friendship is mutually treasured though.
2. I miss my high school friends. I treasure the laughter we used to share, the effort in making/choosing the presents for me, not forgetting the hugs we shared and the tears we shed on the day of graduation. Good friends (although best friends change with time, sad but true story) are meant to be remembered forever. I may not actively contact you frequently but when I'm alone reflecting things, I do think of you.
3. I love my course mates. Although walls start to build as years go by - for reasons as simple as time to reasons as complicated as organisational work and dissatisfaction - when I read back the birthday regards they wrote for my 19th in my 2nd year, I'm very much amused and appreciate your kind words at that point.
Among the most popular remarks about me in the birthday regards include me being outspoken, cheerful and an active debater. Yea I was once a busy but nonetheless happy person because I had so much jokes leftover in my brain to laugh at - mind you I'm one with abundant laugh receptors so I can still laugh so hard at a particular joke days after the last training. I hope I won't lose my humorous touch even after being apart from these cool and funny bunch of debaters. So here goes point #4.
4. I miss the times being so active in debate, never missing out any important occasions and get-together. This past year I've been missing out tournaments, training and even simple parties for reasons ranging from being in Tg Karang, stuck in busy posting, on holidays, etc. Pffffft. Reflecting back, now I'm glad at least I gave my support for training in Year 1 and helped out training juniors in Year 2, when life was young and gay and I could still have fun. :/ At least. I'm guilty for being such coward and so-not-persistent, but I've been away for way too long I now feel awkward for existing in tournament (good example being Avicenna Debate but luckily the juniors are good enough not to make me feel it) and even training in future. Despite all that complicated emotions, of course if the timing is right I'd absolutely and shamelessly chip in and say, "Whaddup people!" :P
5. I miss the AMSA moments, too. I used to drop the idea of joining AMSA in early 1st year because I thought it sounded too cool that I might not be on par with the members. (contradiction because I joined debate? But I thought of debate as a channel of personal development while AMSA is a group work, so big chance of me destroying the team if I'm a hopeless dumbo) Anyhow I still impudently crashed into the team in 2nd year (yea that's so like me), not knowing this is yet another platform where I improved so much and had fun organising events. On top of all, I'm glad I grabbed the one chance to present a paper in an international setting. Since it is one realistic and cruel organisation that you can't stay for forever, it's the junior's empire now and I hope they cherish the days.
6. I'm starting to miss my home so, so much despite the fact I'm at home. And I'm loving that moments of serenity now that my parents are over the whatever-issue-which-bothered-them-for-many-years-but-refused-to-apologise-to-each-other. I think this time the serenity will be for long, so I've grown to love the house, home and family even, even more. *hearts.
With so many things to miss about in my life..
I feel blessed. =)
Friday, January 6, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)